Unlike physically abusive relationships, emotional abuse can be complicated and tough to understand, navigate, and identify. It is as severe as physical abuse.
In fact, emotional abuse can in some ways be far more damaging as it morphs your belief in yourself and shakes your very identity. Emotional abuse acts like a slow poison, where the victim is unaware of being abused. Needless to say, emotionally abusive relationships are unhealthy and damaging. But there’s a solution for every trouble, and there’s one for this too.
Individuals who suffer from emotional abuse tend to have low self-esteem and may become anxious, depressed, or even suicidal. Emotional abusers are often charming and manipulate their partners into thinking abusive behaviour is romantic but it is not.
Unlike in physical abuse, where the scars are visible, emotional abuse has no scars to see but only a deep mental impact.
However, i will be discussing 5 signs to help you identify you are in an emotionally abusive relationship.
- 1.) Gaslighting
Gaslighting is a form of emotional abuse in which your partner leads you to mistrust your own interpretations of reality. For instance, you try to talk to your partner about their anger issues, rather than listen to your concerns, they say, “You’re being way too sensitive.” Then the conversation leaves you scrutinizing what you may have gotten “wrong” rather than how your partner’s actions made you feel.
2. Name-calling
Emotional abusers often name-call and use abusive words at their partners, they don’t mind having fights with you or even making fun of your inadequacies in public. The irony is they will try to win you over again with exaggerated gestures and pleas for your forgiveness. They may even say they used the words they did because they love you and were just expressing intense emotions. “Oftentimes, abusers say that they are doing the abuse, which they do not consider abuse, for the ‘good of the relationship,’ or that it’s ‘romantic,'”
3.) Yelling
Yelling, screaming and directing anger outbursts at you is a way to intimidate and make you feel inconsequential. Yes, every relationship is going to bicker and disagree, but conflict should be accompanied by healthy communication, not screaming or temper tantrums.
4.) They show physical aggression, whether or not it’s directed at you.
Hitting, choking, pushing, and all other acts of violence constitute abuse. However, punching walls or slamming a door in someone’s face can be, too. Physical expressions of anger like these that don’t involve contact with another person are often excused, and they’re seldom depicted as “abuse” in the media. “It lets you know that the person who is acting that way has no self-control. Adults don’t throw things.
5.) They shut down and withhold emotional intimacy.
Emotional withholding is when a partner stonewalls or shuts down nonverbally as a means of exerting control or manipulation of the situation or the other person.
Part of being in a relationship is communicating your emotions to your partner, including when you’re upset. It’s not OK for your partner to shut down on you without explanation and leave you in the dark, wondering what the hell you did. Everyone needs space to process their thoughts and feelings from time to time, but if you notice a pattern in which you have to beg for your partner to let you in on what they’re thinking, that’s a huge problem.
A common mistake many of us make is letting people stick around far longer than they deserve. Toxic people would rather stop speaking to you than apologize when they’re wrong.
That is why understanding what type of toxic relationship you’re in can help you end it in the best way.
Below are 3 ways to end or come out of a toxic relationship:
1.) Recognize that you’re in a toxic relationship.
It is common to be in a toxic relationship without even being aware that the relationship is toxic. In a toxic marriage or romantic relationship, people are often told that the reason their partner is so angry, upset, unloving, or abusive toward them is because of something they did to cause it. However, a key indicator is the marked difference between how your partner speaks to you in public versus private.
2.) Do a digital detox.
You’ll need to manage your social media relationship with the person, too. We often fear unfriending or blocking toxic people on social media because of potential backlash. But sometimes, that’s what it takes. You may want to make a clean break by quickly stating things are over and removing them from your social media and having no further contact with them. If you’re not ready to remove someone from social media completely, you still have privacy options such as unfollowing or muting, and they never have to know.
3.) Prepare for the counterstrike.
When it’s clear to a toxic person that you’re distancing yourself from them or cutting off the relationship, they may try to “punish” you by avoidance, or they will redouble their efforts to keep the dynamic going.
But you have to stick to your decision, Stay resolute in plans to extricate yourself. Dont be quick to forget all your decisions, because once you identify you are in an abusive relationship and make up your mind to come out of it, you have to be strong enough and control your emotions.
Relationships have their ups and downs. But, they should also be strengthening, supportive, and happy. You should be able to celebrate each other, and not face abuse. If it is otherwise, then call it quits and walk out. You can do that.
